Wednesday, June 27, 2012

It's only a year (plus) since I've posted...

But - who's counting?

Here it is – almost July – and I’m not really any closer to my goal than I was six months ago. Except, I have more ambition right now. I could really kick myself for backsliding but it is what it is and there’s no benefit to self-flagellation. Over the past year, I have “let” myself gain 25 pounds. I say let because I sure didn’t put out any effort to stop it. I believe that I have been deeply depressed and just pretending to myself and everyone around me that life was OK. It was not. I wasn’t happy in my job (kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and to get fired; I believe someone was on a mission to see me gone but I managed to outlast their effort). I wasn’t happy with how things were going at home. Ron’s health issues were taking a real toll on me emotionally – as well as financially. I pretty much gave up and only went through the motions of living.

Now, I’ve changed jobs and I’m much happier. I make more money that I did previously, which is nice. One drawback is we have much higher deductibles and co-pays for our medical expenses. That has taken a big bite out of my raise. Medicine that used to cost $15 per month now costs $75. Some things I can’t even buy locally – I’m required to purchase maintenance drugs through a mail-order and pay for three months at a time. Three months is $180 for that same previously-$15 per month drug (or $45 for three months worth; an increase of $135 at a time). Ron has two such prescriptions. I had one. He needed his (two different kinds of insulin). I decided I could live without mine (an oral diabetes medication).

The problem with me giving up mine is that my fasting blood sugars and my after meal blood sugars are much higher than I want them to be. Not HORRID like his were for years, but definitely not good. My hemoglobin A1C (measures your blood sugar over a rolling three month period) went from 6.2 to 7.6 in a very short amount of time. That is not a good thing. I increased one of my other (generic) drugs but I’ll run out before my three months is up (so I’ll need a refill sooner). I decided in order to get things back into control, I had to get ME back into control.

I had been doing walking as my main form of exercise and while I was doing that, I was able to maintain a healthier weight (still not where it should be, but better). When I shut down, I quit walking. My new employer has an exercise room that we can utilize for free. There is a weight system but I haven’t been able to figure out how to use it and there’s not anyone ever there to show me. There are three treadmills and an elliptical machine. I tried the elliptical and it just killed my knees and hips so I switched to one of the treadmills. I’ve set a goal to walk (daily) on each of my breaks (actually have to get up and take them) and to walk again after work for another 15 minutes. That will give me 45 minutes of walking a day (my doctor wanted me to do 30 – and didn’t care how I got it in). I also got up yesterday morning (hey… it’s a start) and walked for 15 minutes. I didn't fare quite so well this morning with trying to get up. I have, however, walked several times at work this week so I'm pleased with that. And, I'm drinking more water (just about anything is an improvement over what I had before). And, less coffee. Even less soda (I didn't drink much anyway and now virtually none).

I’m exhausted. Dieting sucks.

But, I’ve lost 7 of those pounds I gained. 18 left to go and then I can start on my real goal… another 40 pounds off after that. Healthy is most important (want my A1C down to at least 6.0) but weight loss will help reach that goal. And, I’ll sleep better because I’ll have less weight on my sore joints. It’s gotta be good.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

down 2.8 pounds

Today was weigh-in. I was down 2.8 pounds, so that makes me very happy. I'm working very hard with the new Weight Watchers plan, but also watching the calorie content of the choices I make. Even though they take the fat, carbs, protein, and fiber into consideration, I think the calories of an item also weigh in on your weight (lol - no pun intended).

Today starts week 2.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I'm back...

I was hiding from myself and fighting with myself over how much I've failed me. I finally had a "come to God" meeting with myself and I'm back on track.


I weighed 211 yesterday so really haven't moved on the scales at all. But... I did join Weight Watchers online this past weekend and I've been practicing on getting the points thing down - and started for real today.

I've had 28 of my 29 points and I think that's close enough because a couple of things were "iffy" on figuring. I may have had 30 points.

Ron is going to do this with me, so that will be an added bonus. I only bought Smart Ones meals for this week so if he wants a short-cut, he has a limited selection. There are several varieties to choose from, just no frozen pizza in the mix. He's also got frozen vegetables he can pop into the microwave. It will be different for him, and a challenge, but I think he's up to it. He does seem to be getting stronger (even though he took a tumble today that scared us) so we're optimistic about the future.

Breakfast today was 4 points; lunch was 9. I had two snacks for a total of 5 points and the remainder I had for dinner. I'm very satisfied and not craving anything at all. I still have an hour until bedtime, and I don't want to drink another huge glass of water (just finished 12 oz), so hopefully I will be good until morning.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Weigh day...

It's been a while since "weigh day" put a smile on my face.... 195.8. Would like it to be on the other side of the "5" but I'll take what I can get with no argument. It haven't seen that number in over a year. I briefly visited the other side of 195 a couple of years ago. By briefly, I mean for about as long as it took for me to say I was that size. Then, I breathed, had a glass of water, ate a rice cake (you know, that dry crap), or something.

So, maybe this is a sign of good things to come.

That would be nice.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

197.6

Not bad, considering six days in Jamaica. I can handle that. In fact, I'm actually quite happy about that number.

Had an EKG today and have a thallium stress test and echo cardiogram scheduled for next week. I haven't been feeling quite up to snuff, and my blood pressure has been up a bit, so decided it was time to see my cardiologist again. I was supposed to do the thallium thing about six months ago but I think I was taking care of Ron and canceled it. But, now I'm not feeling great so decided I better not put it off. He increased my blood pressure medicine and said that HRT can cause a slight increase in blood pressure. It's not sky-high, but it's not in the preferred "normal" range, either. He also said that my mitral valve prolapse could have gotten worse with the amount of stress that I've been under.

So... we shall see what transpires.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

196

Not a bad start to a Sunday morning... I was happy to see that number on the scales. That meant that I am still headed in the right direction.

After my weigh-in, Keith and I headed to KCMO to a surprise birthday party for my mom. She'll be 80 this Friday and we wanted to do something special for her. My sister, Kris, put the whole thing together and I just did a little helping with ideas - the kind of "do you think this, or do you think this?" And, all I had to do was say which "this" sounded better. It was a great party. My mom was surprised and very touched that we were all there PLUS Kris had sent invitations to some of mom's former co-workers and she had several of the ladies show up. It was great.

It only cost me one pound... 197 yesterday and today. But the week isn't over so I have a chance to get back down to the 196...

Then - next week is JAMAICA. Wonder how I can get through six days in Jamaica and not gain any weight.

Don't see that happening but I will be very careful. V-E-R-Y C-A-R-E-F-U-L.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

198.6

the scales are finally starting to move down a bit. {sigh} my own darn fault they weren't but i just had too much on my plate and on my mind.

i haven't been to exercise but a few times since ron had his surgery. i don't want to go at night and leave him alone for any longer than he has to be so i've just been coming home. i should at least start walking in the neighborhood again now that it's starting to cool off a bit. i'm lazy. i get home and i just really want to put my feet up. not conducive to losing weight.

life in the fast lane...

Monday, July 19, 2010

201

weight this morning. with all that's going on, i can live with that.

it's been a stressful month. i won't even begin to try to catch up this blog with all that's going on. you'll just have to take my word for it or go read my other one (themiddlesideoflife.blogspot.com) if you're not already.

i'm tired, stressed, and just about done-in. dealing with a spoiled beyotch of a niece (by marriage), on top of everything else. this "girl" is 43 years old and acting like she's 5 or 6. i'd like to not be very nice... lol!

Monday, June 28, 2010

No great updates

It's been a couple of weeks and life is about the same. Ron had surgery last week. The foot is - well, it is what it is. I'm taking him back to the doctor tomorrow to have it re-checked because I don't like how it looks.

I've done a great job of self-sabotage. I haven't followed my own diet plan, haven't done what I set out to do, and haven't lost any weight. But, I did get to the YMCA four days in a row week before last. Last week, I made it Monday and Tuesday. This week - I'm not sure.

I had someone give me an older recumbent exercise bike for Ron (it's a Kathy Ireland brand). It's not great, but it is functional. I used it a bit last night. The resistance is tough, no matter how much I loosen it, so it may need to have some WD-40 applied.

I'm lowering my expectations of myself for the next few weeks. I need to relax and de-stress over the fact that Amy is getting married on an exotic beach in two months. I need to just not worry today or tomorrow about how I'm going to look in eight weeks. I just need to do what I need to do.

God, help me! I still need to get my passport!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

weigh-in

weight today was 202.8

i'm good with that.